Post #740: Of Condoms and KN95s

Posted on July 2, 2020

Source:  Wikipedia.

Stores such as 7-11s are an endoscope into the soul of the common man.  Name a little vice, or a venial sin, and they’ve got it covered.  At an affordable price.

Nicotine fit?  Pack of Marlboros is calling you from just behind the counter.  How ’bout a Slim Jim and a six of Bud to go with that?  Feeling lucky?  Scratchers and Lotto will handle that itch.  After a sugar rush?  Try the Slurpees.  Or maybe a doughnut, or some potato chips, if you’re jonesing for some carbs.  Plus coffee for the caffeine addicts.

And for that special alcoholic in your life, What’s the word, Thunderbird?  A wine with a taste described as ” … goes especially well with being face-down in the gutter.”

Condoms?  They’ve got you covered, and they’ll deliver.

But no porn.  Not since 1986.

There’s a point to this.  In every convenience store, there’s a special sin area.  It’s always behind the counter, line-of-sight for adult patrons standing at the register,  showcasing the goods for the client in need.  You’ve got your Trojans, your Zig-Zags.  The stuff that’s not illegal, but not exactly fit for high society either.  The stuff that, say, a teenage boy of good upbringing might want, but might not want to ask out loud where it’s kept.

And now, you’ve got your KN95s.  Those seductive little masks that the Government says you should leave alone.  Cloth masks are good enough for you, Citizen.  That’s what our Federal government tells you.  And you comply.  Yet you secretly lust for a real mask anyway, don’t you?  Sometimes a person needs a little, eh, protection, am I right?

Anyway, I happened to find myself in a local convenience store this afternoon.  (None of your business).  And as I was casually eyeballing the sin area (again, none of your business), lo and behold, along with the rubbers and the rolling papers, there was a discreet blue box of KN95 masks.  No price listed, but clearly for sale.  Guess if you really want one, you’ll ask.

Putting the KN95s next to the Trojans seems logical to me.  Same line of business, different orifice.  At least in terms of preventing the spread of disease.  Buying “protection” just takes on a different meaning.

In any case, I was heartened to see that KN95s are going that mainstream, despite the best efforts of the Federal government to ignore them and to ignore our changed situation.  I see a lot of people wearing what look like KN95s these days.  If you have an N95 or KN95, wear it when you’re in an enclosed public space.  It’s the best thing you can do for yourself and for your neighbors.

Don’t know where to buy one?  Maybe a little ashamed to order from some sleazy Ebay seller?  Just ask the clerk at your local convenience store.  They’ll set you up.

Keep one on hand, just in case.  Don’t think they’ll fit in your wallet, though.

Source:  Farm and